Wednesday, June 22, 2005

and once again

Just finished reading the tarot and have discovered once again that I have much to learn. I learned from the reading today that I am at the beginning of a new experience. That is something I have been aware of for some time now and I've been trying to learn what it is. It's as if I have been spinning my wheels lately though and not going anywhere. I have been getting messages lately that before I can continue on, I have something I must let go of. I've racked my brain and done everything I can think of to find out just what it is and today I asked the Angels, my spirit guides and even the aarchangel Michael to help me find out through my tarot reading. It was confirmed yet again that I am at a new beginning but have something that is holding me back. My answer is that I am suppose to be patient, that it will come when it's time and there isn't really anything I need to be doing in order to make it happen faster.
I've been into beadwork for a lot of years, it's one of the ways I can express my creativity. For the last twoor three years I haven't been able to make myself sit down and work with them though and although I can come up with a lot of excuses, I really don't know the answer myself.
I guess that is something else I need to be patient with, if it is meant to be, then it will happen.
Patience is NOT one of my strong suits though, and I feel like I am wasting so much time that could be spent doing something good with my hands. One of my excuses is that everything else in my life has to be in order before I can feel comfortable with the beads. The tarot warned me that there is no such thing as perfection, not at this point in my life anyway, and that I am holding myself back by expecting everything to be orderly and neat.
It's very difficult to give up old habits, that's for sure. In some ways I think I have taken on so many projects that I have a hard time concentrating on even one of them. Even sitting here writing I feel as if I should be doing something constructive. Maybe it's time I realized that nothing in this life is wasted, no action is for nothing. And I am doing just what is needed at this particular time in my life. Something for me to think about anyway.